Still Single and It is February 14th Again

There is nothing like Valentine’s Day and certain family gatherings to remind even the happy single person that he or she is not in a serious relationship. Valentine’s Day is a day that I like being a romantic, with a fondness for the color red and roses and heart shaped things. When I am faced with the day and no special someone to give me the previously listed tokens of affection, I am very aware of my being single on Valentine’s Day. Other holidays are more about family and I am rich with family. Being single in a family where every sibling and cousin has married at least once does give me reason to reflect on my status and observe the couples around me.

There are times when you feel like you just stick out being single. The procession of couples having their pictures taken by a family member and no pair for me is a tradition that many a single can relate. One year, my boyfriend was a no show to our family’s Christmas celebration. I wasn’t heart-broken by any means as my feelings for him were not very deep. My disappointment was in not having the anticipated couple status for once in my life at a holiday gathering.

As the young man married shortly after he was a no show, he may have already found the love of his life, which was not me despite how my hand melted when I held his hand. Or he may have thought I was dating someone else as at least one of my friends had that impression during that time frame. If he was at fault in any way, he is forgiven because he gave me a rose on an earlier date before he never called again. Anybody who knows anything about romance and Valentine’s Day knows that even a single rose can hide a multitude of sins. Seriously, he always treated me well when we dated and that is what counts.

As I enjoy time with my parents, sister, brother-in-law, brother and sister-in-law, step-niece and her husband and other extended family couples that are with us from time to time, I sometimes think it would be nice to have a partner to feel more included. My boyfriend or husband could talk sports with the men or bond in other manly ways. While there are women in my family who may enjoy talking sports, I would relegate that to my other half and get satisfaction in doing so.

Now that I have my little nieces and my little great-nephews, I would love to share them with a special someone. I guess I have always liked to show off cuteness to others dating back to having smaller cousins and a little sister. Of course, I can enjoy my family without a partner and delight in the wonder of the younger generation. My family does not make me feel like a second class citizen and shows me in so many ways that I am a valued member of the family.

I like to vicariously enjoy happy couples while I hurt for bad relationships. In my own family, I have seen very sweet models of marriage. In addition, I have seen examples of strong marriages among friends. I know of men and women who despite challenges and in some cases tragedy have such a love. One man often writes on his blog about the inexplicable feelings that he has for his wife after many years of marriage. This man also shows his affection and serves his wife in very tender ways. Friends have shared how their husbands have been there for them with health challenges. I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors but I feel that the people had no motive to make these things up. And knowing that love is out there means a lot. Some people may go through very difficult years and feel more distant at times before growing together as a couple. The companionship and comfort level between couples is something sweet to behold on the outside.

There is a song that says that you are nobody until somebody loves you. When I think about it, I think that has about as much logic as saying that the land where my family came as immigrants in past centuries did not exist until Columbus discovered it. It is easy to be in love with being in love and I am not immune. A person might list reasons why I or another single person is not married. However, the very attribute or issue listed would be found in some married couples. Not every child is born to a good home with loving parents and not everyone finds a good match in this life. That should make people who have someone special treasure each other even more.

When I was a child, Valentine’ day was not a day to be enjoyed only by those who had a boyfriend or girlfriend. School mates bought multi-variety packs of Valentines with sweet sentiments to be shared with both the boys and girls in your class without discrimination. My mom would buy heart shaped cookies sprinkled with red and white sugar to pass out to everyone in my class with a few to spare that I would take to the office. As an adult, Valentine’s Day is often a day that I passively hope that a man would suddenly appear at my doorstop with gift in hand.

The year that my mom recruited my sister and myself to join her group to visit a Senior Care Facility is probably one of the best Valentine’s ever. They even liked my knock knock joke that went: Knock Knock Whose there? Willa Will Ya? Will Ya Who? Will Ya be my Valentine?

This is a single woman who is going to enjoy the 14th February for the sweet and fun side of the day and not wait for someone else to pamper me. I send out my love to the many singles and couples who read this post. Happy Valentine’s Day!
– population-we™ blog post by Barb Bohan